Oh what a difference a year makes. A year ago we were heavy into the wedding planning phase and I was enjoying a nice long two month break from school (Thanks Samford for JanTerm). This year, reality hit hard with only a couple days off from work. Despite the dramatic change in meaning of the phrase "Christmas break," I could not have asked for a sweeter time. It was simply perfect.

Everything was lovely.

We celebrated Christmas Eve with a wonderful meal prepared by my rockstar-of-a-cook mom and a time of fellowship with Nathan's parents, Harvey and Karen, who joined us for the Christmas Eve service at Perimeter (which was incredible as always).

The weekend was full of joy.

Just a funny story from the weekend:

Growing up, my parents always gave my brother Adam and I some sort of board game for Christmas. As Nathan and I had been racking our brains for new traditions to start as a family we decided to start our own board game collection (buy one every Christmas). We picked the game Zero. Nathan and I packed Zero for the trip and were so excited to share the new game with my family. After a round of the game (which was a hit with all) my parents exchanged glances and just laughed while uttering the words-"should we tell them." Well, turns out that dad did tons of research and decided he and mom were going to give Adam, Nathan and I the game...Zero. It was quite a funny little story but ended well as we concluded each of us had good game-picking skills. Take our word for it and go get Zero, a fun twist on classic trivia games.

Our first Christmas as husband and wife could not have been more perfect. We are utterly blessed to have two families who love us unconditionally and give us so much support.

Weekend snapshots...

Steadfast Love

Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity and passing over transgression for the remnant of his inheritance? He does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in steadfast love. He will again have compassion on us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.

Micah 7: 18-19 

Pinterest Board: Design

The internet is a library full of designs that are sure to make your mouth water (well, it certainly has that effect on me). These four designs are some current favorites simply because of  how color is used and how methodically the text is incorporated into the design. 

1. Book Cover Designs 2. Sir Rudolph 3. Invite 4. Thanks

Fiesta Lime Rice & Holiday Sangria

Though these are not necessarily recipes that we used this week, we have used them in weeks past and they are both full of flavor. Simply delightful.

Fiesta Lime Rice
(I'm pretty sure this was snagged from Pinterest)
Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 cups cooked long grain rice
• 3/4 cup canned black beans, rinsed and heated
• 3/4 cup cooked corn
• 1 large tomato, diced
• 1 large scallion, diced fine
• 2-4 tbsp chopped cilantro (to your liking)
• 1 tbsp fresh squeezed lime juice
• salt to taste

Directions:

In a large bowl, combine hot rice, heated corn, heated beans, tomato, scallion, cilantro, lime juice and salt if needed. Toss and serve.

_________________________________________

Cranberry Pomegranate Holiday Sangria
(Shoutout to my fabulous mom for this recipe)
Ingredients:

• 1 bottle (750ml) red zinfandel (you can really choose any you prefer)
• 4 cups of cranberry juice
• 2 cups of POM Wonderful pomegranate juice
• 1 cup of orange juice
• 3/4 cup of simple syrup
• 1 apple, unpeeled, cored, quartered and sliced thin
• 1 orange, halved and sliced thin
• 1 lemon, halved and sliced thin
• 1/2 cup fresh cranberries
• 1/4 cup of pomegranate seeds (we nixed these)
• SanPellegrino sparkling water (we opted for ginger ale)

Directions:

Combine all the ingredients in an extra large storage container, taste and adjust flavors to your liking. Chill at least four hours overnight. Stir before serving and transfer to pitchers our pour by the glass. Use a pair of tongs to extract some of the fruit for each glass, add ice to each glass, and fill glasses, leaving about an inch of free space at the top. Top each glass off with a splash of Pelligrino (or ginger ale) and lightly stir.

*You really don't need it to chill for a very long time if you are serving over ice.

Photo Credits: 1. & 2.

Express Truth

The way Oswald Chambers constructs his devotions is quite impressive. He has the ability to turn things that we all know into something so captivating and thought provoking.


Today, Os talked about the need to re-express a truth of God, remind yourself of those truths because "if you don't, other people may miss out on the blessings that come from knowing the truth..."


The challenge for me came when he wrote: "But if you are not diligent and say, 'I’m not going to study and struggle to express this truth in my own words; I’ll just borrow my words from someone else,' then the words will be of no value to you or to others." How often do I say, "Yeah, I agree with what he (or any other Christian) said," simply because I often fail to claim the truth as my own. I want to learn and grow by going through the struggles. I want to be "willing to go through God’s winepress where the grapes are crushed," as Os put it. 


I don't want to be lukewarm. I want to grapple with His truth and make it so much a part of my being that I can't come in contact with anyone without them experiencing His saving grace and love.

"Your position is not really yours until you make it yours through suffering and study." -Oswald Chambers

Photo Credit: 1

Pinterest Board: The Holidays

With the Holidays right in our midst, I thought of no better way to soak up the festivity than to share some of my favorite Holiday items from Pinterest.

1. Smells of the Season 2. Pottery Candles 3. Holiday Decor 4. Preppy Perfection 5. The Fire is so Delightful

Today's Letters

If you know the phrase "Fist Pump Friday," then Mr. and Mrs. Loerke are no stranger to you.

After being drawn to Today's Letters and getting a thrill from scrolling through pages of people throwing a fist pump in the air while kicking their leg up, I began to have a interest in the couple behind the website. Who are they? Why do they write letters? Etc.

Spending quite some time reading the "About" portion of their website and jumping from link to link, I became drawn to their utter honesty. Utter honesty, especially as it pertained to the Loerke's marriage.

So here are a few things they had to say about their marriage (definitely some good nuggets they shared)...

{10 things} That have made all the Difference:

1. Weekly Questions: For the past five years Tim and I have been asking each other the same five questions every Sunday night. These questions have made the biggest difference in how we love and serve one another throughout the week. If you're going to incorporate one of these 10 things into your marriage, we hope it's this one.

2. A Small Metal Box: After reading this story, Tim and I made a pact that each time we made love we would put a dollar in a special metal box and save it for our 50th anniversary trip to Hawaii. This has surprisingly been a great way for us to creatively pursue intimacy with one another over the years. Our only advice would be to not count the money in your box. Focus on quality, not quantity.

3. Traveling Journal: There is a journal we share that's filled with words that would make you blush. We take turns writing in it, always hiding it for the other to find in an unexpected place. It's been found duct taped to our shower, in suitcases when traveling, even in the refrigerator behind the Cool Whip. (Pretty sure Husband was trying to tell me something). Overall, this has been a great way for us to verbally affirm and encourage one another.

4. We (try and) Conflict Well: Conflict is inevitable in relationships, but we believe it exists to make us better, not bitter. We try and keep short accounts with one other by sharing our disappointments and hurt feelings. This isn't always easy but it's necessary in maintaining marital oneness. From experience we know there's nothing more damaging to our relationship than harbored bitterness.

5. We Play Together: Husband and I have chosen to be active together. Whether it's tossing the Frisbee, flying our kite, going on walks, participating in adventure races, reading bedtime stories, or building forts in our living room, playing together has helped us find our inner child. It has also reminded me that being active together can be romantic. After all, deep down I know Husband wants me to be his sidekick when it comes to doing "guy things" with him. Realizing this has been critical in helping us stay connected both physically and emotionally.

6. We Pray Together: One of our favorite ways to end the day is by praying together. We pray for our friends, family, and for wisdom in our marriage. Though our prayers are usually not longer than a couple of minutes they have made a huge difference in helping us stay spiritually connected, as well as make us more aware of each others fears and insecurities.

7. We Celebrate Each Other: Husband and I love to make a big deal out of anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, and even smaller personal accomplishments. We are each other's biggest fans, and finding a thoughtful gift or preparing a special meal can make the biggest difference in helping us feel known, loved, and celebrated.

8. We Don't Do Marriage Alone: Our trusted friends have been incredibly helpful in showing us how to work through some of the bigger issues in our marriage. It wasn't always easy to share these struggles because of our pride and embarrassment, but soon we realized that most couples were struggling with the same things we were. We've learned that isolating only hinders us from truly dealing with our hurts, habits, and hang-ups.

9. The Greatest Gift (Self Work): We realized early on in our marriage that the greatest gift we could give each other was to know ourselves. This meant working through our family of origin junk. We all have it, but so few actually sort through it; Celebrate Recovery helped show us how. It was here that we first learned to attack our problems together, instead of attacking each other about our problems.

10a. We Study One Another: Someone once told us that no matter how long you've dated your spouse, the day you get married you're essentially committing your life to a total stranger. This was great advice considering how quickly people change. To say I know Tim fully after 5 yrs of marriage would be a lie. There's so much about him that I don't know about simply because I do not ask. That is why we like to interview each other regularly. It's amazing the things you can learn about your spouse when you take the time to ask both fun and creative questions.

10b. Dude Time / Girl Time: Sometimes one of the best things we can do for our marriage is to spend time apart. It blesses me when Tim is able to take a trip with his guys because I know they meet certain needs that I can't. Similarly, Tim understands that spending a weekend with my girls is critical to my overall mental health and well being. Don't get me wrong, you guys know how madly in love I am with Mr. Loerke, but sometimes all a girl needs is an uninterrupted weekend with her besties. Guys are no different.

Advent

 

Above files are the work of Emily Kirkpatrick.

A Prayer for Marriages, Ours and Friend's

(Written by: Scotty Smith, Pastor for Preaching, Christ Community Church)

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. Eph. 5:29–32

Lord Jesus, we come before your throne of grace today bringing marriages with us—our own and those of our friend’s. Everywhere we look, there seems to be a growing number of friends who are discouraged, disconnected, despairing—even dying in their marriages. This makes us sad, but it doesn’t really shock us, for a couple of reasons.

It makes complete sense that the powers of darkness would assault the one relationship meant to tell the story of your great love for your bride. Of course marriage is going to be a war zone—the front lines of spiritual warfare until the day you return. Satan hates you, he hates the gospel, and therefore he hates your bride and he hates marriage. Of course marriage is going to be difficult—for there is no other relationship on the face of the earth which has more power to expose us and make us vulnerable, and arouse our longings and desires. Of course marriage is going to require your daily mercies and your steadfast love.

Like so many of us, I came into marriage with a little gospel and big naïveté. I had no clue about the depths of my brokenness, the degree of my selfishness, or the devices of my sinfulness. I had no clue about what a “normal” marriage was supposed to look like, much less a healthy one. I had no clue about what it would take to love one person well the rest of my life (or even in the next hour)—a person who needs the gospel just as much as I do.

And I certainly had no clue that only your love is better than life; that only your love can slake the deepest thirst of my heart; that only your love can offer the intimacy we crave and for which we’ve been made. Jesus, only your love can free us to love another sinful spouse the way you love us as your spouse—for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. Only your love, only your love is enough.

Lord Jesus, we pray for our friends, and we pray for ourselves. Protect us from the evil one and rescue us from ourselves. Show us how to care for one another in ways that bring your glory. Bring hope to the hopeless, conviction to the foolish, nourishment to the famished, grace to the betrayed, and repentance to the betrayers. When we want to “bolt,” may we bolt to you, quickly and surely. During this Advent season, prove yourself, yet again, to be Immanuel—the God who is for us and with us. So very Amen we pray, sobered and expectant, in your loving and powerful name.

Thanksgiving in Nashville

Reality has set in. I no longer have multiple days off for Thanksgiving, not to mention essentially two months off for Christmas (due to "Jan Term" at Samford). Oh the joys of post-grad life. Now, let me just tell you that because I have don't have quite as many "days-off," those non-working days are enjoyed to the fullest especially since I am completely free of everything. No lingering papers or projects to turn in at the return of a break.  

I digress. 

It's been exactly a week since Thanksgiving and what a year truly filled with blessings it has been. The Lord has been so faithful.

This year Nathan and I spent Thanksgiving in Nashville with the Kirkpatrick side of the family. In college I had many a friend from the Nashville area so it was especially fun to explore their stomping grounds and much of what the city had to offer.

Despite getting to Nashville around 1am on Wednesday, the excitement about the Boulevard Bolt didn't dwindle due to a lack of great sleep. For years I have seen the Boulevard Bolt t-shirts and I was utterly thrilled to have my very own (that is the best part of races). Those of us running the race headed over to Belle Meade and I was able to rendezvous with my racing buddy, Smo (fun fact: the last race we did was a 5k in the Cayman Islands). It was at the start line that I realized the Boulevard Bolt was actually a five mile race, not a 5k (two mile difference here people). Though this came as a little bit of a shock, I couldn't help but be excited due to people being decked out in turkey hats and reindeer costumes. This year, there were 8,000 other people who decided a Thanksgiving Day race would be fun, so it wasn't until about mile two that Smo and I were really able to get our pace and find a hole in the pack to actually run. Five miles later, I was an official Boulevard Bolt runner. The race was such a fun experience and I loved getting to see my dear friend Smo and being a part of a Nashville tradition. 

Post Race Pic

The Kirkpatrick Runners: Post Race.

It was a wonderful weekend of delicious food and fellowship. Oh, and of course a Saturday filled with stellar rival football games. Another one added to the "W" column for my Dawgs (pumped for the SEC Champ on Saturday btw).

On our last day in Nashville Nathan took me to the famous Loveless Cafe. Let me just say, it was as good as advertised. Those blackberry preserves are divine and from this no-jelly/jam/preserves girl, that is sayin' a whole lot. Of course the biscuits added to the divine nature of the preserves. Simply delightful and so glad we were able to go.

Spinach Tomato Orzo Soup

This recipe is divine. It makes a TON and the longer it sits, the better it gets. Enjoy!

via.

Ingredients:

1 large onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 lb spinach, fresh or frozen, defrosted
1 – 15 oz can diced Italian tomatoes (with oregano and basil)
1 lb package orzo pasta
2 quarts chicken or vegetable stock
2 quarts water
olive oil

Instructions:

1. Preheat a large pot. Drizzle with olive oil. Add onions and saute until tender. Add garlic and saute for 2 – 3 minutes. Add canned tomatoes, spinach, chicken or vegetable stock and water. Bring to a boil and reduce heat to medium.

2. Add orzo cook for 12 – 15 minutes, or until orzo is tender

The Grove Park Inn

My mom's Carolina (no need to specify, North Carolina is the only "Carolina") roots run deep and for the past several years we have made it a Thanksgiving tradition to return for some Carolina history at the Grove Park Inn.

The Grove Park Inn, surprisingly was built by workers who worked 'round the clock for a measly one dollar per day (actually really impressive for the time). The architecture is immaculate and with a back drop of the blue ridge mountains anyone is sure to fall in love with the place.

via

One of the reasons my family has always loved to visit The Grove Park Inn during the holiday season is because it's serves as the host of the National Gingerbread House contest and display. These gingerbread houses are the best around and are so detailed you would never know everything was edible.

Grand Prize Winner.

This year our trip to Asheville was simply perfect and a great time was had by all. Lunch at the Sunset Terrace followed by a tour of the gingerbread houses was a fantastic combo for our thanksgiving with the Hart fam.

Loved having Adam back from the Windy City.

# 20.

(Disclaimer: This blog post may be a little "bragadocious" at the beginning but just know this wife's heart and her pride for the role that orange ball has played in her husband's life.)

Basketball has played a significant role in my husband's life. His jersey was retired in high school, he played basketball at Covenant College, he headed across the country to be a coach at Colorado State and then came back east to be the head men's basketball coach at Covenant, his Alma mater. 

Though I could not be more proud of my husband's accomplishments in the basketball arena, this list of things related to basketball just gets me bummed out. Why? Well, that is because I met Nathan after all of this. Thus, I never ever saw him play or coach a single game of basketball (Ok, I did see one game he coached...the Downtown Falcons 6th grade boys' team). 

That all changed last Friday. Now it wasn't at the collegiate level (I had to take what I could get), but it was his high school alumni basketball game. I proudly donned my husband's practice jersey from college (yes, the arm holes did hang down to my knees) and sat on the bench (camera right up against my eye) with a huge smile the entire time simply because I finally was able to see Nathan in action on the court. 

It truly is the little things...

Grateful

Since it is "thanksgiving season" (as I've deemed it) I figured it would be a good time to document a few things I'm especially grateful for... as a resident of a small little college town.

* in no particular order...

1. Simply just living in a college town (of which Nathan nor I are alums) and experiencing those perks. 

2. Sidewalk are everywhere. This makes running around town much more enjoyable.

3. Being able to walk to Earthfare. Every Wednesday we get 5% off and they give us free things like flavored seltzer water and salad kits just to name a few. (I told you there were perks)

4. Having a walking trail, a lake, soccer/football/baseball fields, a basketball court and tennis courts all in our backyard. 

Exhibit A. Please excuse the odd coloring from my phone.

5. 5am track runs with SEC football players. Well, maybe a better way to phrase that would be: 5am track runs where we see the football players doing sprints. Either way we love our behind the scenes Tuesday mornings. 

These are just a few fun things of which I am so grateful. It's been a fun journey thus far and I am so blessed to be sharing it with Nathan. 

Zucchini, Black Bean and Rice Skillet

Nathan and I have been in a rut lately when it comes to food. The word "rut" seems to have a negative connotation but in this case, we've just been lovin' our staples. When perusing through the endless pins on Pinterest I found this dish that sounded delightful; so we pulled out our skillet and gave this baby a try.

Picture snagged from readyseteat.com

Zucchini, Black Bean & Rice Skillet

What you need:

- 1 Tablespoon Canola Oil

- 1-1.5 Cups Quartered Lengthwise Zucchini

- 1/2 Cup Diced Green Bell Peppers

- 1 Can of Black Beans (drained and rinsed)

- 1 Can of Diced Tomatoes (undrained)

- 3/4 Cup of Water

- 1 Cup of Instant Rice (this is a great way to throw in some seasoned rice that goes with the dish)

- 1/2 Cup of Cheddar and Monteray Jack Cheese Blend (we used a sheep cheddar cheese from Trader Joe's)

What to do:

- Heat oil in large skillet over medium heat. Add zucchini and bell pepper; cook 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add beans, undrained tomatoes and water. Increase heat and bring to a boil.

- Add rice; stir well. Cover; remove from heat and let stand 7 minutes or until liquid is absorbed (this might take a little longer). Sprinkle with cheese.

I would highly recommend this dish. It is full of flavor and has a great texture, similar to chili. Perfect for this time of year. 

Original Recipe: Zucchini, Black Bean & Rice Skillet

Wedding Recap: Avery and Cody

10.22.11

The entire wedding weekend was wonderful and kicked off with the Bachelorette. We snagged some tapas at Twist and then ended the night with some games and fondue...and some good laughs. 

We had quite a lot of fun with the wax lips (game prizes)!

The bridesmaids' luncheon celebrated friendships and the women in Ave's life. Such a sweet and special time. 

 Friday ended with the rehearsal followed by the rehearsal dinner where many friends and family shared stories about Avery and Cody. They are both so loving and giving-evident by the depths of their friendships. 

The wedding day finally came and was completely filled with joy. Avery and Cody were absolutely giddy all day long and were quite the handsome pair as they said their "I Dos." The new Mr. and Mrs. danced the night away while showing off their moves-a perfect combo of the dougie and the classical dance!

A few pictures from the day...

Loved that bow.

Love this mother-daughter duo!

Father-daughter dance. 

Love this group!

And they were off...

Avery and Cody,

Nathan and I are truly blessed to have you in our lives. We cannot wait to see what the Lord has in store for the Baxters but know it will be far more than we could ever ask or imagine. Nathan and I are thrilled for the adventures in store and many more times with you two.

We are praying for you as you begin this journey of marriage!

Nathan and Emily

Wedding Recap: Stephanie and Jarred

10.15.11

October 15th turned out to be gorgeous fall day for Stephanie and Jarred's wedding. The rustic wedding captured Steph's personality perfectly and I think we all were excited to wear cowboy boots down the aisle. 

A few snapshots from the wedding...

Excited for the big day.

Cowboy boots-So  Stephanie!

Such a blessing to be part of this special day!

Beautiful bouquets.

Mr. and Mrs. Griffin! I'd say they look pretty happy!

In just a few hours Nathan and I will be off to celebrate Avery and Cody's wedding...

4 Days.

Avery is going to say, "I Do" in just a few days! Giddy with excitement for Ave and her soon-to-be hubby Cody. 

(Pictures coming soon from Steph's wedding)

She's Walking Down the Aisle this Week...

Just a flashback from Sophomore year.

In just 5 days she will be Mrs. Stephanie Griffin! So excited to be reunited with this dear friend in just a few days to celebrate her wedding.

The 21st.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011 had been a highly anticipated day for a few reasons. The 21^st of the month always brings joy and excitement to the day knowing it will always be an anniversary for us. This time it was the 4 month mark. As with every month we reflected on the month before and celebrated in some form or fashion. This month caused for a little extra celebration…

Nathan had to defend his comprehensive exams (all 192 pages) and propose his dissertation in the same day. Passing these two HUGE things means you are an official PhD candidate and you are ABD (all but dissertation).

 Well, I am absolutely thrilled to announce that Nathan did in fact pass his “comps”(comprehensive exams) and his dissertation proposal was accepted. You may now call my husband a PhD candidate and ABD, two acronyms that we are pumped about.

Nathan planned quite the celebratory night filled with some delicious tapas, sangria and some delicious desserts to top it all off.

 I am utterly proud of all the incredible work Nathan has put into his degree thus far and I know those who have been through this process with us can speak to that as well. We are both so grateful to the Lord for the blessing he has given us in Nathan making it past this milestone-HE is good.

No better way to end this post than with the lyrics to Nichole Nordeman’s song “You are Good” which was actually sung at our wedding. It never gets old.   

When the sun starts to rise

And I open my eyes 

You are good, so good

In the heat of the day

With each stone that I lay

You are good, so good

With ever breath I take in

I'll tell you I'm grateful again

When the moon climbs high

Before each kiss goodnight

You are good

When the road starts to turn 

Around each bend I've learned

You are good so good

And when somebody's hand 

Holds me up helps me stand

You are so good

With every breath I take in

I'll tell You I'm grateful again

'Cause its more than enough 

Just to know I am loved

And You are good

So how can I thank You

What can I bring

What can these poor hands 

Lay at the feet of a King

I'll sing You a love song

It's all that I have

To tell You I'm grateful 

For holding my life in Your Hands

When it's dark and it's cold 

And I can't feel my soul

You are so good

When the world is gone gray 

And the rain's here to stay

You are still good

So with every breath I take in

I'll tell You I am grateful again

And the storm my swell 

Even then it's well and You are good

Pinterest Board: Buttons. Blouses. Trousers. More.

With a hint of fall in the... air boots, autumn colors and blazers are making their way to the forefront of my closet. For this Pinterest Board of the Week I thought it would be fun to spotlight a few of these yummy items.

Fall Colors.

Perfect Fall Get-Up.

Let's get real, this blazer is just too perfect.

Such a great combo.

Just a hint of Winter.

With football well into the season and a few leaves or two on the ground, I'd say it's safe to say Autumn is being received with open arms in this household.

He is faithful

Growing pains. That has been my diagnosis of where I am right now. Being away from all of my close friends, my support system, has been so difficult. Working 8-5 everyday has presented its own challenges as I have found there to be such little time to go out and just make new friends.

…on Thursday nights Nathan and I host a graduate student and young professional’s small group. After a time studying the word the guys and girls split up for a time of prayer. This time has been such a blessing as all of the girls are in such similar stages of life and experiencing transitions of their own. I have met a few girls in particular that are both recent graduates (like me) and one is even newly married (like me). HE is so unbelievably faithful and that fact just hit me like a ton of bricks last night as I was surrounded by a group of women who the Lord has handpicked to be in my life for this next year and during this time in my life! I’m so grateful for these blessings.

Growing pains won’t break you. They will only cause you to lean more on Him and see the way He is providing and taking care of you, daily!

Let me say that I am utterly grateful for my husband, Nathan as he constantly points me to Christ and reminds me to focus on the positives, on His blessings.

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17

 I’ve always loved that verse in Zephaniah and how it depicts the way the Lord loves us!

Marital Compatibility

The Truth About Marital Compatibility is a great article written by Phil Smidt, who is the counseling pastor as well as the Marriage and Family pastor at one of the Mars Hill campuses. It takes a look at biblical compatibility and offers 5 questions for both singles seeking a spouse and married couples. 


5 Questions for Married Couples Who Want to Become More Biblically Compatible: 

1. What do you focus on more frequently, what's wrong with your marriage or what's right with it?

If you're a Christian, there’s a lot right about you because Jesus has saved you from God’s wrath and now owns you. You have every resource in Christ available to you (2 Peter 1:3). As a redeemed child of God, forgiveness and grace can flow freely from your heart allowing you to minister to your spouse’s weaknesses. But do you live that way?

2. When is the last time you did something intentional for your spouse?

Kindness and thoughtfulness strengthen marriage. Yet many couples feel entitled to speak harshly, be contemptuous, or withhold forgiveness. “For better or for worse” is not permission to sin. It takes faith and humility to respond graciously when you are angry, hurting, or misunderstood.

3. Do you believe God knew what he was doing when he had you marry your spouse?

When marriage is difficult it can be tempting to think you made a mistake, forgetting marriage sharpens us, often in painful ways. Step back and remind each other what you appreciate and admire about one another. Chances are, those qualities are still there, but you have allowed sin and selfishness to creep in and cloud your view.

4. Do you need to repent of discontentedness and complaining in your marriage?

It takes a supernatural intervention by the Holy Spirit to make us thankful. Our tendency is to compare and complain. Thanksgiving is a lifestyle command in Scripture (Col. 3:15-17), not just a suggestion or holiday in November. What are you thankful about? What would it take for you to enjoy your spouse?

5. Do you and your spouse pray together? Do you pray for each other?

It's difficult to grow hard-hearted and embittered toward someone you are praying for frequently. God will do his best work in your marriage when you are in prayer. Prayer acknowledges our need for God and worships him.